09-16-2008, 02:48 PM
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#1261
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Mongrel Nation
Posts: 4,839
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Quote:
ghoulslime wrote
Toothpaste was definitely not designed as a lubricant for oiling your joystick. It is a truly a dismaying sensation to have a nice warm and wet set of lips wrap around your sperm nozzle, only to realize after several sensual sucks up and down the shaft that while toothpaste may have made the sucker’s teeth white and bright and her/his mouth minty fresh, it does very little in the way of making one’s one eyed trouser snake ready for birthday cake, if you know what I mean.
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I can only advise you you have sampled an incompatible brand of toothpaste. I have it on very good authority, cough, it can provide a marvellous tingly aperitif to the vinegar strokes.
thank goodness he's on our side
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09-16-2008, 05:03 PM
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#1262
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Quote:
dogpet wrote
I can only advise you you have sampled an incompatible brand of toothpaste. I have it on very good authority, cough, it can provide a marvellous tingly aperitif to the vinegar strokes.
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Maybe I had the wrong brand? In retrospect, I must confess my cock does seem to be whiter and brighter.
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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09-17-2008, 02:14 AM
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#1263
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Mongrel Nation
Posts: 4,839
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Quote:
ghoulslime wrote
Maybe I had the wrong brand? In retrospect, I must confess my cock does seem to be whiter and brighter.
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I recommend the non abrasive variety, therefore you should steer away from smokers toothpastes, unless you desire to add some friction to an extra large cave. Have you tried gel?
thank goodness he's on our side
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09-17-2008, 09:26 AM
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#1264
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I Live Here
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 10,218
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Quote:
dogpet wrote
I recommend the non abrasive variety, therefore you should steer away from smokers toothpastes, unless you desire to add some friction to an extra large cave. Have you tried gel?
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For the same reason, avoid the pumice-infused hand cleaners.
"Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor." - Justin's Dad
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09-19-2008, 01:02 AM
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#1265
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Quote:
dogpet wrote
I recommend the non abrasive variety, therefore you should steer away from smokers toothpastes, unless you desire to add some friction to an extra large cave. Have you tried gel?
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Somehow smoker's toothpaste seems right for somebody who is smoking your cock. Maybe she isn't inhaling or something?
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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09-19-2008, 01:03 AM
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#1266
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Quote:
Tenspace wrote
For the same reason, avoid the pumice-infused hand cleaners.
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Yeah, slapping a big handful of Boraxo on my cock in the corner of a mechanic shop and cracking out a quick one just doesn't seem that erotic.
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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09-19-2008, 01:40 AM
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#1267
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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I am in the airport in Korea right now, on my way from Shanghai to Los Angeles.
My cock is still raw from the bang festival with my girl friend in Udon Thani this week.
Girlfriend
The last day I was in Thailand, her sweet little love muffin was too sore to hit any more, so she had to stroke me off the morning before I left. While she stroked me, I thought about her sister:
Girlfriend's Sister
Her sister is totally hot, and she totally digs the GS scene. I told my girlfriend that if things ever go sour with us, then I am swapping her for her sister.
After my girlfriend stroked me off, I told her that I had closed my eyes and imagined that it was her sister jacking me off. She jumped on top of me, beat me up, and asked if I really had. (Of course I had to lie and say that I didn't, so that she wouldn't feel bad.)
I'm not sure if she has forgiven me yet.
What is the strangest thing you have ever fantasized about when you jacked off?
I once thought about fucking Lily's ass.
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
Last edited by ghoulslime; 09-19-2008 at 01:57 AM.
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09-19-2008, 04:55 AM
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#1268
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Walthamstan
Posts: 338
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Quote:
ghoulslime wrote
Yeah, slapping a big handful of Boraxo on my cock in the corner of a mechanic shop and cracking out a quick one just doesn't seem that erotic.
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In the corner of a mechanic shop? But shirley that's what is meant by 'auto-eroticism'?
When no one can tempt you with Heaven or Hell, you'll be a lucky man — Alan Price
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09-19-2008, 07:08 AM
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#1269
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He who walks among the theists
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: The Big D
Posts: 12,119
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"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
George Bernard Shaw
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09-19-2008, 07:11 AM
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#1270
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I Live Here
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 10,218
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Quote:
ghoulslime wrote
Yeah, slapping a big handful of Boraxo on my cock in the corner of a mechanic shop and cracking out a quick one just doesn't seem that erotic.
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Guess you've never been alone, with a '63 split window Sting Ray on one lift, and a '68 XK-E... oh, nevermind.
"Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor." - Justin's Dad
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09-19-2008, 07:12 AM
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#1271
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I Live Here
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 10,218
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Quote:
ghoulslime wrote
What is the strangest thing you have ever fantasized about when you jacked off?
I once thought about fucking Lily's ass.
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Instant win. No one can think of anything stranger.
"Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor." - Justin's Dad
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09-19-2008, 07:55 AM
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#1272
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He who walks among the theists
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: The Big D
Posts: 12,119
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I don't know if "strange" captures the essence of that statement.
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
George Bernard Shaw
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09-19-2008, 03:25 PM
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#1273
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Guest
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I flatter myself that I have a huge... vocabulary. But I'm fucked if I can think of any word that captures the essence of that statement. I can't actually bring myself to say the word "Lily's" and "ass" one after the other.
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09-19-2008, 03:50 PM
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#1274
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Mistress Monster Mod'rator Spy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The North Coast
Posts: 15,428
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"Lily's ass is on public dismay display in each every one of her posts."
"I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death."
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
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09-19-2008, 03:52 PM
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#1275
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Guest
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Oh what a shame. I have her on ignore. I don't know what I'm missing, obviously.
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