Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-07-2007, 01:59 PM   #16
Waddlie
Still Kate's Bitch...
 
Waddlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 2,722
Quote:
Philboid Studge wrote
There once was a Shitlord named Franny
Who was often mistook for a tranny
He was hung like an elf
Yet still fucked himself
By making a wife of his fanny
That rhyme is awfully confusing to us Brits...

Oh, and Choobus? Could you fix the typo in the thread topic cos it's like pieces of glass in my head...

One man's strawman is another man's asshole.
Waddlie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2007, 02:05 PM   #17
anthonyjfuchs
Obsessed Member
 
anthonyjfuchs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,765
I've been saying "ode to a shweetlord" with a strange Scandanavian accent in my head all day.

atheist (n): one who remains unconvinced.
anthonyjfuchs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2007, 02:08 PM   #18
Philboid Studge
Organ Donator
 
Philboid Studge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Beastly Muck
Posts: 13,136
Quote:
Waddlie wrote
That rhyme is awfully confusing to us Brits...

...
Quote:
Philboid Studge wrote
There once was a Shitlord named Franny
Who was often mistook for a tranny
He was hung like an elf
Yet still fucked himself
'Cuz he never got close to realBy making a wife of his fanny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
La propriété, c'est le vol ...
Philboid Studge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2007, 02:10 PM   #19
Waddlie
Still Kate's Bitch...
 
Waddlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 2,722
:thumbsup:

One man's strawman is another man's asshole.
Waddlie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2007, 02:10 PM   #20
Professor Chaos
General of the Attacking Army
 
Professor Chaos's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 12,904
:|

I will grieve. Grief is not a theistic concept. ~ Sternwallow
Professor Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2007, 02:12 PM   #21
Choobus
I Live Here
 
Choobus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: prick up your ears
Posts: 20,553
Quote:
Waddlie wrote
Oh, and Choobus? Could you fix the typo in the thread topic cos it's like pieces of glass in my head...
only a kindly mod can do that, otherwise I'd have changed it already.

You can always turn tricks for a few extra bucks. If looks are an issue, there's the glory hole option, but don't expect more than ... tips.
~ Philiboid Studge
Choobus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2007, 02:18 PM   #22
Waddlie
Still Kate's Bitch...
 
Waddlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 2,722
Thanks boss.

One man's strawman is another man's asshole.
Waddlie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 11:56 AM   #23
Philboid Studge
Organ Donator
 
Philboid Studge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Beastly Muck
Posts: 13,136
The Steamer, by Billy Blake

Steaming log roll, burning hot
From my arsehole to the pot,
What immortal hand or eye
Did build thy fearful symmetry?

What distant deeps or pools
Will receive my glist'ning stools?
To what goal did God aspire?
Just to set my arse on fire?

From what shoulder and what art
Which, when launched, was just a fart?
And when the log began to fly,
Did this make young Jeebus cry?

What the hammer? Where's the chain?
To send this evil down the drain
What the anvil? What dread trap
Dare these deadly terrors crap?

When the sludge ran down my rears,
And water'd heaven with its tears,
Did He smile His work to see?
Did He who pinched a loaf pinch me?

Steaming log roll, burning hot
From my arsehole to the pot,
What immortal hand or eye
Did build thy fearful symmetry?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
La propriété, c'est le vol ...
Philboid Studge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 07:28 PM   #24
ghoulslime
I Live Here
 
ghoulslime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,923


This thread is absolutely glorious!

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
ghoulslime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 07:33 PM   #25
ghoulslime
I Live Here
 
ghoulslime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,923
Give Me A Hand

On poo I take my stand,
Slip and land,
Feel my fingers expand
On goo, on poo,
Hot and steamy on my hand.


Poo, Oh, My Poo

Poo, oh, my poo,
I say adieu to you!
The moments we shared together were few.
I relish this final view,
The splash of abandonment,
Like a little messenger sent
To spread my message down below,
Beyond the mysterious hole,
Swimming like a slippery mole,
Where shall you go?
How shall I know
That you will still love me,
When you have been enticed by pee?
But you are free to follow your heart
Beyond the force of my fart,
Poo, oh, my poo.


Upward, Glorious Biscuit Of My Bowels!

Abandon all underwear!
Make yourself bare,
For the world to stare
As you shit in the air!
Oh, blow, blow, blow,
Shun the world below!
Shoot a glorious pear
Bursting and steaming
Shining and gleaming
Like a shooting star fair!
But beware - The smile
Fast becomes a frown.
A turd floats a while,
But must come down.


Holiday

'Twas the night after burritos,
When all through the loo,
Every butt hole was flowing
With brown stinky goo,
When what to my wondering bum did appear,
But a long chocolate snake with a face like a deer.
So I filled up my mouth with this wonderful cheer,
And sang of the glory for the rest of the year.


Witch's Doo

Witches shit but once a year.
It fizzles out like rotten beer.
It falls like acid on the ground,
And turns to smoke with a popping sound.


Mummy Pee

You cannot drink a mummy's pee.
You cannot even try.
Mummy's pee blows in the wind,
'Cause mummy pee is dry.


Vampire Pee

Vampire pee, you will see,
Is red as red can be,
And flows like blood from a vampire's wee.
Ask a vampire - he'll show you for free.


Ghost Pee

Ghost pee is milky white,
An incredible sight,
Floating around like rain clouds at night,
And smells a bit like Turkish Delight.


Zombie Poo

Zombie poo is greenish-blue.
It gurgles out like sticky glue.
It's great to drink with nasal goo,
And excellent in dog shit stew.


Skeleton Poo

Skeletons have a common groan
For which one often hears them moan.
A skeleton can rattle and crawl,
But a skeleton cannot poo at all.


Poo Ghosts

In the toilet late at night,
Screams of terrifying fright,
Rise up to the ceiling height.
Greenish glowing silver light,
Shines through the bathroom door,
Out across the hallway floor.
From the empty toilet bowl,
White hands reaching for a roll,
The poo ghosts have come once more,
Back again, from days of yore!
A poo ghost is a lonely soul
Searching for a lost butt hole.


Punch Bowl

Piss pot,
The turd is hot.
Pull the handle to spin.
Take a cup and drink some up,
Or stick your face right in.


The Beginning Of All Poo

Dog made the world in a single day.
It fell from his butt like a piece of clay.
Then he made the glorious skies,
And thought it good that there should be flies.
The first two he called Adam and Eve.
You are full of shit if you believe.


A Poo Love Story

Blacky was loved by Brown,
Until the plunger was pulled down.
On that sad and sorrowful day,
Blacky dear was washed away.
Now, Brown swims around,
Uttering a mournful sound.
"Blacky," you can hear him say,
"Why did you go away?
Why did you float out to sea?
Blacky, my love, come back to me!"

(This one brings a tear to my eye and a juicy fart to my bum)


Here are several testimonials from prominent members of society:

"Ghoulslime has some really good shit here, man!"
- Richie "Buttsausage" Jones, National Anus Review

"Ghoulslime's humor is as sappy-sweet as a ten-day-old carcass."
- Martin T Crudvapor, Maggot Parade Magazine

"According to my studies, Ghoulslime is a head above the rest."
- Doctor Jebus G Ripplewinkie, Guillotine And Skull Foundation

"Ghoulslime is as ripe as a fifteen year chili fart. (And he has impeccable taste)"
- Ghoulslime


http://www.poetryring.com/ghoulslime/poo.html

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
ghoulslime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 07:34 PM   #26
ghoulslime
I Live Here
 
ghoulslime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,923
Somebody

Somebody shat in the bathroom sink.
Somebody shat on the floor.
Somebody really made it stink.
Somebody, close the door!


The Cause

The cause needs you!
Fight for what is true,
For brownish mountain's majesty,
For amber sprays of rain,
For multicolored poo!
Defecate in red, white, and blue!
Shit for liberty,
And seal it with your pee!


What Hand?

What hand could fashion
The fruit of a butt hole's passion?
What name could hope to excrete
The glory of a bum's fame?
A poo by any other name
Would smell as sweet.


Solemn Silence

To sit in solemn silence, on a cold white bowl!
Searching for a scrap of rag to wipe your hole,
Staring at the fragments on an empty roll,
Seeing that the situation is out of control,
And no other solution found,
Drag your ass across the ground!


Content

Brown chocolate spice, like glutinous rice -
That's what poo is made of!

Spraying yellow glee, like a raging yellow sea -
That's what pee is made of!


Fart

The whispers of my bum
To my nostrils come.
For a brown cloud, I long,
To hear a sweet poo song.


The Fruit Of My Loins

The fruit of my loins is brown and sweet!
Get it while it's hot, for a marvelous treat!


Poo Haiku

On a steaming Lilly pad
An angry toad
Poo

(Ghoulslime say: look before you leap)


In My Pants

Look at my flabbergasted frown.
Look at the stain wet and brown.
Take a whiff of my spicy smell.
Listen to my raves and rants.
As you can clearly tell,
I have just shat in my pants.


Old Bean Williams

Old bean Williams was a fine old man.
He liked to spend his days on the can.
One day, he ate a whole bean pie.
And blew himself right up to the sky.
And that was the end of it.
Now that's what I call a shit.


What do you say?

What's this on my foot?
It seems a bit too squishy to be soot.
It's mashed right up between my toes.
The smell is rising to my nose.
I doubt that it could be a rose.
Shall I wear it for the rest of the day,
Or wash it off with the hose?
What do you say?


Corn In The Dog Poo

Corn in the dog poo!
Shoo, fly, shoo!
Hey, fly, that corn's not for you!
I had dibs when the dog was through!
When I'm done with it,
I'll take another shit,
And leave it all for you.


Into the Sea

Within my bum
Is the glorious sum
Of all that I eat.
A wonderful treat!
And to sweeten the deal,
It makes a lovely squeal.
I Christen it with pee
As it launches from my ass to the sea to the sea,
As it launches from my ass into the sea!


Little Jack Snotty

Little Jack snotty
Sat on the potty,
Eating a big black turd.
He stuck in his thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
And said, "Oh, my word!"


I Like Poo

I like poo,
Whew, whew, whew!
I like poo!
How about you?
It's good for chocolate.
It's good for paste.
Hey, I'll bet you'd like a taste!


Brick by brick

When you wipe your bum,
And discover some
Poo on the end of your thumb,
Don't despair
That life is unfair.
For poo is life's greatest treasure,
A joy beyond measure.
Consider this:
Unlike useless piss,
Poo is substantial,
Even financial
In a way.
In a single day,
You can take a shit
And carefully mould it
Into a brick,
Then dry it hard and thick,
And gradually build a new world wonder,
A pyramid to bring praise like thunder.

- the greatest mountain of doo doo begins with a single poo.


Ape Man

Ape man swings on a vine.
Ape man swings very fine.
But, what is this? Oh, no!
Ape man has to go!
Ape man has no underwear,
Does a poo poo in mid air,
Gives a tree a great big whack.
Now ape man is swinging back.
Poo poo is still falling.
And ape man is calling.
Poo poo goes down ape man's throat.
Ape man sings a different note.
But ape man is not too sad.
Poo poo does not taste too bad.

It was fun to do and fun to eat,
A sort of ape man trick and treat.


The Color Of Fame

In harlem,
One can often find
That poo is of a darkened kind,
Maybe from the lack of sweets,
Maybe from life on the streets.
Or it could be a racial thing, maybe.
They say that black is beautiful, baby!

Well, if black's the color of such aclaim,
I just shat a masterpiece of considerable fame.


Condiment

In all the toilets of East LA,
The poo is very spicy, they say,
Steaming like the hottest day.
If that's the case, I think I may
Serve it with Fajitas on a silver tray.


Nazi Poo

Nazi's are a noble race,
Of impure blood there's not a trace.
Even their poo is an Aryan sight.
The shit they shit is the whitest white.
But one flaw they have is to shit to the right,
Because their bum holes are too tight.


Wipe It Clean

There's a shitty feeling
When you don't wipe well,
There's a sticky feeling,
And a really bad smell.
When you wipe your ass,
You'd better wipe it clean,
'Cause when a few weeks pass,
Your butt will turn green.


Butt Fudge

Good Butt Fudge
Is hard to judge
Without tasting different brands,
Trying the texture in your hands -
Not too hard not too wet.
(It takes a while for good fudge to set)
Butt fudge should not be confused with diaper gravy,
Or the beany paste they shit in the Navy.
A good meal of ice cream and chocolate cake
Form well in the bum, and in the end, good fudge make.
Good butt fudge is hard to find.
Butt fudge is poo of a very rare kind.
But when you find some delightfully sweet,
It's something really nice to eat.
Try a piece of butt fudge.
You be the judge.



Bringing you poo since 1842!




http://www.poetryring.com/ghoulslime/poo.html

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
ghoulslime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 07:36 PM   #27
ghoulslime
I Live Here
 
ghoulslime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,923
The Rumor Of A Turd

There was a sense that something came out,
Broke forth with a shout.
You felt your butthole open and close.
A strong smell came to your nose.
You turned with a jerk to admire your work.
But there was nothing there!
It had disappeared like air
- Like some forgotten word,
The rumor of a turd.


The Power Of Poo Gas

Poo gas is such fun to pass.
It gives a bum authority,
A voice surpassing even pee,
Communication of unequaled class.
Never underestimate or understate
The power of a poo gas cloud
That conquers like some barbarian hoard,
That makes one's asshole cry out loud!
The bum is mightier than the sword!


Talent

Want to hear something funny?
When I eat sand, my shit is runny.
When I eat bees, I shit out honey!
When I eat green paper, I even shit money!
Now that is talent I've been told.
My asshole is more precious than pure gold!


Substance Of The Moon

Some people say that the moon
Is made of greenish cheese.
But the truth is as plain as the sun at noon.
And I will tell you, if you please.
It was made by a giant moon man type
With his bum so big and blue.
And contrary to the latest hype,
The moon is a giant poo.


The Big Black Dog Shit Mountain

Oh, the yellow piss springs
And the fart song sings
On the big black dog shit mountain,
Where the butthole flings
And the shit burst rings
On the big black dog shit mountain.


Coronation

I found a pile of majesty
Beneath my ass so brown.
I knighted it with a spray of pee,
And wore it for a crown.


A Bundle Of Joy

What a treasure!
Oh, how sweet!
A bliss beyond measure,
Made from what I eat!
Wrap it up to keep it warm.
Hold it close to ward off harm.
I've been a very thoughtful boy
By leaving you a bundle of joy.


Atomic Shit Ass

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
Here I go! Here I go!
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
Stay for the show!
I have a crazy little feeling
As I sit on the bowl.
I think I really need to poo.
Then it blows me to the ceiling,
As it blasts out my hole.
I might just fly to Timbuktoo.
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
Here I go! Here I go!
Watch my atomic shit ass blow.
Oh, no! What an incredible show!

(A man from Hiroshima ate every bean that he could see.
And when the gas blew out his ass, well, the rest is simply history.)


Art

There is no finer art than a fart!
Such a song any ass can impart!
What a song you are making
When your butthole is quaking.
But be careful not to blow out a dart.


A Picture

If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why not paint a poo?
I'd like to show to you
The beauty of my turds.
If an ass can launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go
To bare the fruit of my hips?
I'd really like to know.
One by one, I'll launch them out to sea.
And one fine day, they'll all float back to me!


A Commotion

Where I pee Makes no difference to me.
I spray it free, Like foam in the sea.
But when I poo, It is something that I do With religious devotion.
I shit so as to make a commotion.

Holy Shit

Behold the sacred sacrament
Flowing from Jesus' bum,
To the sound of angel song.
Adore the poo from heaven sent,
With a toota toot toot and a rumpa pum pum.
Join the glorious throng!
Let’s bend our knees and worship it;
The savior’s blessed loaf, his holy shit.


Chocolate Choo Choo

Hear the whistle's toot toot.
Open up the poop shoot.
Chugging through the yellow rain,
It looks like chocolate choo choo train!
Engine shining sleek and grand,
Chugging through the yellow rain,
Take the choo choo in your hand
And put it in your mouth again!

The Banana

The banana is a marvelous fruit,
Nutrition of the highest repute!
But I wonder how it could be:
It’s the only food I’ve ever seen,
Whether yellow, red, or green,
That goes in your mouth,
And comes out down south,
In the same shape it was originally!

http://www.poetryring.com/ghoulslime/poo.html


The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
ghoulslime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 07:59 PM   #28
anthonyjfuchs
Obsessed Member
 
anthonyjfuchs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,765
Oh I did so miss this thread. And it seems all the more appropriate now that the Douchenozzle Formerly Known as Shitlord I has taken his shit to a whole new level.

I'm currently working on "the Shit Song of J. Francis Poopcock."

atheist (n): one who remains unconvinced.
anthonyjfuchs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2007, 12:22 AM   #29
Choobus
I Live Here
 
Choobus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: prick up your ears
Posts: 20,553
words fail me
but please mods, fix the fucking title.....

You can always turn tricks for a few extra bucks. If looks are an issue, there's the glory hole option, but don't expect more than ... tips.
~ Philiboid Studge
Choobus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2007, 12:25 AM   #30
Choobus
I Live Here
 
Choobus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: prick up your ears
Posts: 20,553
this may be the best thread ever................

You can always turn tricks for a few extra bucks. If looks are an issue, there's the glory hole option, but don't expect more than ... tips.
~ Philiboid Studge
Choobus is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:46 PM.


Powered by: vBulletin - Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2000 - , Raving Atheists [dot] com frequency-supranational frequency-supranational