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Old 06-27-2008, 11:13 AM   #1
ILOVEJESUS
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What do theists think heaven will be like?

I mean come on. All theists seem to put all their eggs into the they want to go to heaven basket, but... how do they know that they will like it? I must admit from what I have heard only the virgin Muslim thing gets me going. So can any theists actually say what this heaven is like to sway the arrogant atheists into maybe wanting to set up home there?
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Old 06-27-2008, 07:55 PM   #2
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While there are a few limited previews of heaven in scripture, spending eternity with our Creator and Savior is all any believer really looks forward to. Whatever His plans are will be for good, spectacular, and far beyond our ability to comprehend in this limited state of understanding.
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Old 06-27-2008, 07:59 PM   #3
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While there are a few limited previews of heaven in scripture, spending eternity with our Creator and Savior is all any believer really looks forward to. Whatever His plans are will be for good, spectacular, and far beyond our ability to comprehend in this limited state of understanding.
And we will get to sing songs about him all day long! Goody goody! Won’t THAT be fun?

You are so big and we are so small!
We are so short and you are so tall!
Oh, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
Girls go crazy for a sharp dressed man!

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 06-27-2008, 08:30 PM   #4
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While there are a few limited previews of heaven in scripture, spending eternity with our Creator and Savior is all any believer really looks forward to. Whatever His plans are will be for good, spectacular, and far beyond our ability to comprehend in this limited state of understanding.
...BOOOOOORING.....With a heaven like that who needs hell? This truth is, your neurons, starving for electrical impulses will begin to shut off....like a switch on the wall....axon will succumb to paresis...this will cause your brain to see a while light & tunnel...while life beguns to mutated into decomposing bacteria which will take over. You'll be truly a pile of decomposing shit. Since your Christ-psychosis makes you to be interred becoming bacteria FOOD I'll like to see how you would look like six months later... bloated corpse filled with gas. Sorry retard, there is no god.

I'll be cremated then a little of my ashes will be sprinkled on Brandy Alexander toast goblets which all my friends will drink while toasting to the ONLY LIFE I had, enjoyed to the FULLEST because of a healthy, aka atheists, brain.

Please see a neurologist.

Christians and other folks infected with delusional beliefs think and reason like schizophrenics or temporal lobe epileptics. Their morality is dictated by an invisible friend called Jesus.
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Old 06-28-2008, 01:07 AM   #5
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the Chronicles of Joe in Heavan:

day 1: WEEEEEEEEEE. I'm hanging with Jesus! WEEEEEEEEEE

day 402,714: Yeah yeah. You're great Jesus. I know. blah blah blah...

day 7,834,742: (yawn) I wonder what folks in Hell are doing right about now...

day 8.34x10^82: (sigh) well, that concludes my 189 millionth reading of the Bible. I wonder what would be on TV if we had such a thing up here...

day 3.92x10^1131: FUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK!!!!!!!!

day 6.24x10^number so big it fit on this screen: Kill me. For fuck's sake somebody kill me!
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Old 06-28-2008, 02:38 AM   #6
ILOVEJESUS
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ghoulslime wrote View Post
And we will get to sing songs about him all day long! Goody goody! Won’t THAT be fun?

You are so big and we are so small!
We are so short and you are so tall!
Oh, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
Girls go crazy for a sharp dressed man!
zz top are now in my mind for the rest of the day. good way to start it in my opinion.
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Old 06-28-2008, 02:42 AM   #7
ILOVEJESUS
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While there are a few limited previews of heaven in scripture, spending eternity with our Creator and Savior is all any believer really looks forward to. Whatever His plans are will be for good, spectacular, and far beyond our ability to comprehend in this limited state of understanding.
that hardly sells it as the posts after yours shows. i need more to convince me to buy a place there. i mean, can we still orgasm?? do ugly girls become attractive ( without beer)? is there a night time? are there any snails? does evolution still happen by natural selection? etc.
i suppose ther would be infinite life forms from other galaxies, universes etc? wouldnt there? but eternity is a long time buddy.
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Old 06-28-2008, 05:09 AM   #8
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While there are a few limited previews of heaven in scripture, spending eternity with our Creator and Savior is all any believer really looks forward to. Whatever His plans are will be for good, spectacular, and far beyond our ability to comprehend in this limited state of understanding.
Do you love your imaginary god more than your close family ?

What happens if you get to heaven and you realise all your family are sinners and burning for all eternity in hell. Would your heaven still be such a perfect place ?
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Old 06-28-2008, 08:46 AM   #9
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ILOVEJESUS wrote View Post
zz top are now in my mind for the rest of the day. good way to start it in my opinion.
A little taste of heaven.


Oh my heavenly father, is that really you?

I been up, I been down.
Take my word, my way around.
I aint askin for much.
I said, lord, take me downtown,
Im just lookin for some tush.

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 06-28-2008, 08:46 AM   #10
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Quote:
antix wrote View Post
the Chronicles of Joe in Heavan:

day 1: WEEEEEEEEEE. I'm hanging with Jesus! WEEEEEEEEEE

day 402,714: Yeah yeah. You're great Jesus. I know. blah blah blah...

day 7,834,742: (yawn) I wonder what folks in Hell are doing right about now...

day 8.34x10^82: (sigh) well, that concludes my 189 millionth reading of the Bible. I wonder what would be on TV if we had such a thing up here...

day 3.92x10^1131: FUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK!!!!!!!!

day 6.24x10^number so big it fit on this screen: Kill me. For fuck's sake somebody kill me!
Hmmm...I WONDER what Ghouslime is doing in Hell?

www.poetryring.com/ra/GSinHell.wmv

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 06-28-2008, 09:45 AM   #11
ILOVEJESUS
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Hmmm...I WONDER what Ghouslime is doing in Hell?

www.poetryring.com/ra/GSinHell.wmv
ghoul you are my sexual equal. id be happy to sit with you in hell as we have our cocks polished by evil polish minxes.
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Old 06-28-2008, 09:53 AM   #12
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Hmmm...I WONDER what Ghouslime is doing in Hell?

www.poetryring.com/ra/GSinHell.wmv
Now that's an eternity I could look forward too.
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Old 06-28-2008, 10:04 AM   #13
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that hardly sells it as the posts after yours shows. i need more to convince me to buy a place there. i mean, can we still orgasm?? do ugly girls become attractive ( without beer)? is there a night time? are there any snails? does evolution still happen by natural selection? etc.
i suppose ther would be infinite life forms from other galaxies, universes etc? wouldnt there? but eternity is a long time buddy.
I've got nothing to sell. Heaven's cost has been paid for and few want it anyway. Therefore it will be filled with those who choose to be there just as it was designed for.

One of the posters was right. Eat, drink, and be merry; for those who don't want eternal life? This is as good as it gets. The rest is pure hell.
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Old 06-28-2008, 10:06 AM   #14
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WickFut wrote View Post
Do you love your imaginary god more than your close family ?

What happens if you get to heaven and you realise all your family are sinners and burning for all eternity in hell. Would your heaven still be such a perfect place ?
Define love, then perfect.
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Old 06-28-2008, 10:07 AM   #15
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Define love, then perfect.

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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